


Nightmares

by Holygirl



Category: Rogue One - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Rebelcaptain - Freeform, i cried at the end of this movie so I wrote this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9405926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holygirl/pseuds/Holygirl
Summary: Jyn finds herself needing something to get her mind off Cassian and ends up finding Cassian.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like this! This is my first fan fiction ever, I thought I should contribute this piece I wrote just for the hell of it. I have a lot more to add after this but haven't finnished it! Also I'm not super familiar with the Star Wars world, I'm getting to know everything better so sorry for my mistakes!

Nightmares.  
Nightmares are the only thing that comes after scariff. Jyn wakes up from her sleep in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, heart beating the same way it did on the beach. The same nightmare played in her head night after night, until everytime she closed her eyes and she knew exactly what was going to happen.  
Sitting up in her bed, back against the headboard she thought about the way Cassian's body laid lifelessly next to hers on the flight to Yavin IV. Her head becomes foggy as she remembers everyone running around them, all she could do was look at him, there was no energy left in her to move her arm to touch him, or even breath out his name. She couldn’t do anything.  
These were the things that kept her up for hours every single night without fail. There was no end to it, it was a bottomless pit that dug itself every night. Jyn tires to recall the last time she had full night sleep. She thinks hard and comes to realization that she doesn’t remember, and that opens a new door for her brain to obsess about.

She curls her knees up to her chin and closes her eyes, waiting for her brain to slow down and shut up. But that moment never comes. She sighs and moves to the edge of her bed realizing that sitting here won’t help. She needs to occupy her mind with something, anything. There’s never a down time in Yavin IV. There’s always help needed. The Flight base could alway use help, and she needed something to do with her hands, whether it be paperwork, or fixing a ship, she just needed something. It would make her feel useful, she’d be doing something for the Alliance.  
She wished she could go out on missions, but Jyn was grounded because of her injuries. She had been for three months, and it was making her crazy not having the ability to leave when she wanted to, it also made her feel guilty being able help with the war she felt responsible for. Another thing on the list that made it hard for her to sleep, or stay asleep.  
Jyn moves around the room gathering her clothes that she threw off before she went to bed. Bending down to pick up her clothes made her ribs ache as if they were on fire. She ignored it of course, she was alone and still refused to show any sign of weakness. Lifting the shirt over her head caught her breath and made it hard to breathe, but she didn’t admit it to herself. She had to sit down to put on her pants and shoes, which made her mad, but if she was going to get out of the room she had to do it.  
She finally was all dressed and ready to go to the flight base. Out in the corridor it was quite noisy and people running back a forth. For some reason this made Jyn comfortable. She thought she’d rather sleep out here with the noise than in her dorm in the quiet.  
Many people greeted her and she did the same trying her best to smile and nodding back at them. Already her mind had quiet down and was no longer screaming at her. She felt more calm.

When Jyn arrived to the Ship base she was Greeted by many people.  
“Welcome back, jyn, it’s nice to see You here.” Wynn a Mechanic said as she approached him. Jyn looked around at all the people working on the ships, running to get supplies, yelling at eachother.  
“It’s great to be here.” She sighed out. “do you have anything you need help with?” She says, looking at Wynn. He thinks in his head not if they have anything, but what one thing that will help them the most.  
“I don't know how well you are with fixing stuff, but platform eight needs some help fixing the ship. Will you be alright?” he answered with and unsteady face. A slight smile on Jyns face appears. Something she hasn’t done in a long time.  
“I’ve dabbled in fixing ships, I think I’ll be alright.” She says to him winking. A sigh of relief comes out of Wynn. He smiles at her a thanks her. Wynn points in the direction of the platform and jyn begins to head that way. She walks briskly, her hands aching to do something, it’s almost exciting for her, she’s finally doing something.  
When she sees who’s working on the ship she stops in her tracks. Cassian. She had seen him since scariff, but she was not expecting to see him here. He was the one she was trying to get her mind off of. She watched him as he climbed on top of the ship, carrying things in one hand.  
“Are you here to help?” Someone said, breaking her stare from cassian. She nodded her head a softly smiled.  
“I’m here to do whatever.” She responded to the man. They walk inside the ship and He begins explaining to her what he wants her to do, she already knows how to do it, but she let him explain as her mind went elsewhere. She thought about Cassian and how much she missed him. The last time she had seen him, was a passing in the dorm's hallway, everything inside of her wanted nothing more than to embrace him with a hug. But instead she waved and he smiled.  
“And then that should be good! Did you get all that?” He said gesturing his hand towards the familiar mechanism that was in front of him. She shook her head to regain her focus.  
“Yes, I think I’m good.” She smiled and he left. She watched him walk out of the ship and she looks at the wires like it’s a glass of water and she hasn’t drank in days. Finally she had something to work on. Her mind gets lost in fixing up the ship the same way her mind would when she read a book. About and hour passed before she heard footsteps behind her. She didn’t mind them and she heard many around her throughout working.  
“Jyn?” She heard a familiar voice say. Her hands froze, and she knew exactly who it was.  
She slowly turned around and put her arms at her side. There stood Cassian, his face wasn’t mad, like she thought it would be, it was confused.  
“Cassian.” she looked at him in the eyes not afraid to back down ready to fight, she knew what he was going to say, ‘why are you here?’ ‘you should be resting.’ she came up with many scenarios in her head and how to fight back. But instead Cassian walked toward her and put his arms around her. She was startled by the hug, it was warm and tight just like on the beach. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and burrowed her face into his shoulder. She took in his smell that was so comforting to her, it smelled like home, something that she never really had.  
“Wait, are you not grounded?” Jyn huffs out. Cassian let's out a grumble from his chest and rolls his eyes. Jyn can't see him do that, but she knows.  
Cassian pulls away and holds just her shoulders, looking down at her tired face.

“No… I just got off from it, are you still?” He say quietly and watches jyn s face go up in flames. Cassian was ready to shield himself from what was about to come. Ready to say the words to calm her down, ready to take the punches she was going to throw.  
A thought popped into jobs head, ‘he’s okay. He's not that injured’ she took a deep breath and looked up at Cassian.

“Yeah, I'm grounded for another month.” She answered trying to be as calm as possible. A confused look on cassians face. He was thinking something and jyn was trying to figure it out.

“That doesn't make sense… both of us were...” He whispered his mind trailing off somewhere else. Cassian squoze Jyns shoulder, she took a sharp breath in and shut her eyes. Cassian flinched his hands away.

“I'm sorry.” He apologized quickly. Jyn bit her lip trying to hide the pain, of course. But cassian could still see it. His hands flutter around her not so sure how to help.

“It's just a bruise.” Jyn murmurs under her breath. She didn't want him to feel bad, far from that. He didn't know the where her injuries were, he can't feel bad about that, she won't let him.  
Cassian shot a glance at her shoulder, wondering what sort of injuries she had gotten during… scariff.

“May I see…” cassian said gesturing over to her shoulder. Jyn nodded, taking her hand and shoving the fabric off of her shoulder to show a still purple bruise, fading.  
Cassians face was hurt, he wanted to cry, he thought that he should have protected her, not let her go to scariff, made her stay on yavin lV. Something in the back of his mind he knew that that would be impossible, to make jyn stay, especially somewhere she didn’t want to be.  
He softly brushed his calloused hand over the bruise looking at jyns face making sure it wasn't hurting her.

“Oh, god jyn…” His mind trailing off once again. She shook her head and covered her shoulder so that he could not see, so he didn’t have to feel bad about it, even though he shouldn’t.  
She didn’t want to talk about it right now, and she was hoping he didn’t either, both of them just wanted to work, to get their minds off of it.

“I’m fine, Cassian, don't worry about it. What do you need help with, on the ship?” she said backing away from Cassian, she was trying to change the subject, hoping he would follow her ques. He looked at her and pressed his lips into a hard line taking in a deep breath.  
“Everythings pretty much done for take off tomorrow, just the vitals need to be checked, if you want to help me with that.” Cassian said, pointing to the pilots box. Jyn wasn’t strong with checking vitals, but she knew a little bit. She nodded her head and looked up at his eyes, he was already looking at her.

 

 

 

       “I’ll have you check the fuel levels and see if we need to take any fuel lines with us, also just check to see if you see anything unusual, if you don’t know, just tell me.” Cassian says as he fiddles with the captain's control panel. Jyn turns to begin her work, which is above her head, and she know that if she shows any sign of hurting, while lift her arms, Cassian will make her go home.  
She sighs and looks behind her where Cassian is still focused on the panel, not paying any attention to her. She slowly lifts her arms and winces as it catches on her ribs, she shoots one of her arms down automatically, looks like she won't be using that hand. She sighs and begins checking the vitals. Everything hurts, each little movement whether left or right, sends a sharp pain to her side. She hears Cassian sigh, but ignores it.  
“Jyn, you need to be resting.” His soft voice hums. She ignores him once again. Cassian gets up from the pilot's seat and makes his way behind jyn. He presses a button she had been trying to reach for the past three minutes. Jyn lets out a sigh and brings her arm down. She was jealous of how easily he could do that. It didn’t cause him any pain to lift his arms.  
“I was about to do that.” she told him, not looking at him, not wanting to look at him. She hated when other people did things for her, she never learned how to let people help her, she had always been on her own. Cassian ignores what she said and begins working on the vitals. He didn’t want to fight with her, so he kept quiet, but she wanted to fight with him. She turns around on her heel to face him, he his stunningly close. He looks down for a moment with his eyes and then back up to his hands.  
Jyn folds her arms across her chest, still looking up at his face.  
“I’ve tired, you know, resting?” She flatly states. “there’s a reason I’m here.” she tries to get his attention, but clearly he doesn’t want to fight. And that makes her chest burn. She stares at him through her eyelashes, furious.  
“Are we ever going to talk about it?” she hisses through her teeth. Cassians hands freeze, and he swallows hard, still not looking at her. Jyn brings a hand to his cheek, forcing his eyes to look at him. She raises her eyebrows at him demanding for him to speak. He lowers his arms and with one hand he curls his fingers around her wrist. He can feel her steady pulse thump softly on the tip of his fingers. It calms him.  
“Cassian?” she stammers his name. She wants to hear something from him. Something about Scariff.  
“The way I held you back on the beach… Jyn i thought we were going to die. I didn’t know what to do, there was no way I could save you, I wanted to cover you from everything that was bad, I didn’t want anything to hurt you, nothing, I would kill anyone who laid a finger on you. And when i woke up in the med bay, I thought you were dead, I asked one of the med bots, they said you were alright, but I still couldn’t do anything.” Cassian shook his head out of frustration, and shut his eyes, tightening his grip around Jyn’s wrist. Jyn smoothed her thumb across Cassian's cheek bone and stepped closer to him. He opened his eyes to see her studying his face.  
Jyn softly but surely pressed her lips against Cassian’s. Cassian was surprised but kissed her back, his hand sliding across her arm and down her body not sure where to put his hand not wanting to hurt her. Jyn took his hand and placed it on the small of her back, it was injured, but not as bad as the rest of her body. His touch was still soft as he took a fist of her shirt in his palm. Jyn placed her hand at the crook of his neck pulling him closer. The kiss deepened slightly as cassian tangled his fingers in Jyn’s hair.  
They hear footsteps coming inside the ship and both of them pulled away faster that they thought they could. Cassian goes to meet the visitor while jyn stays behind and pretends to work on something.  
“Um, Captain, the ship is ready for take off tomorrow if you are done with everything.” The mechanic says to Cassian.  
“Oh, yeah, sounds good, what time is take off tomorrow?” Cassian says trying to collect his thoughts after what just happened. Jyn smirked to herself, seeing how hard it is for Cassian to even speak.  
“We leave at 1200, sir.” The man replies.  
“Great, you’re good to go, get some rest.” Cassian instructs the man who salutes to cassian and leaves. Jyn rests in the co pilot's seat and waits for Cassian to approach her. He walks to the pilot box and lean against the wall to look at jyn, he shoves his hands in his pockets, pushing a breath of air out of his lungs.  
“I gotta finish things up here, you need to go rest.” he says looking at her, only half expecting her to listen to his suggestion.  
“I think i’ll stay.” She says not moving a muscle in her body. He stares at her for a moment and goes back to work, knowing that trying to get her to go home is a waste of breath. They talk about scariff, and the aftermath, she tells him about his injuries and he tell her his. It falls silent as cassian focuses on the last details of the ship. Jyn closes her eyes to rest them, not really wanting to sleep over the fear that she might wake up screaming, but it's peaceful on the ship she enjoys listening to Cassian work, it calms her down.

“Are you asleep?” Cassians voice softly breaks the silence. She hears his foots softly step over to her and she opens one of her eyes. He his less than a foot away from her face memorizing it.  
“C’mon let's get you home.” Cassian gave her a hand and helped her up. Cassian wasn't quite sure exactly where her quarters were, but Jyn led him. They walked side by side, not talking to each other. Jyn folded her arms and cassian shoved his hands in his pockets, they're arms brush against one another's as they walked back to the sleeping bay. Jyn looked down at her shoes as they walked, and Cassian looked at Jyn.

They reached her room and Jyn typed her number pin into the keypad. Cassian waited for the door to open to say goodbye.  
“I guess I better go, I've got to get some sleep for tomorrow.” He says leaning into kiss her forehead. Jyn closes her eyes when his lips press on her forehead. She doesn't want him to leave. When he begins to walk away she grabs the opening of his coat and brings him back in. He tilts his head to one side and his eyebrows knit together.  
“Stay here, with me, please.” Jyns hands snuck inside of cassian's coat, resting on his side. He looked at her with so much love in his eyes and she could tell as she was doing the same thing.  
“Of course I will.” He followed Jyn into her room where he shut the door behind him. The room was dimly lit by the lamp she left on before she left for the dock.  
Both of them get ready for bed as Cassian hums a simple tune as he watches Jyn pace around the room. It's a familiar tune, one that Jyn knows, but she decides to listen to cassian hum it. Jyn finds her nightgown, and begins to take her shirt of, which causes a jab of pain to her side. She bites her lip realizing she can't take her shirt off. She turns around to see cassian, who has just stripped down to his boxers. She look at him with eyes of defeat, and she hated it.  
“What's the matter, Jyn?” He takes a step closer. She holds the piece of fabric in her hand, and looks at it.  
“I can't lift my arms very well, especially after helping… I can't get get my shirt off.” Jyns voice cracks, as she tries so hard to keep the tears in. His hands flutter around her trying to find out a way that he can help.  
“Do you need me to dress you?” He asks sweetly. Jyn nods her head and looks up at him. She feels like a helpless baby. She can't even clothe herself.  
Cassian lifts up her shirt so carefully making sure not to touch her delicate skin. He takes her arms out one by one so gently and pulls the shirt over her head. He steals a look at her body and it's glorious. He looks at the scars on her torso, he loses himself in guilt over them. He felt as if it was his fault she had them. He barely had any, he's the one who should be suffering, not her.  
“Cassian?” Jyn realizes his guilt, and she won't let it consume him. He shoots his eyes up to her with a sorry look.  
“I'm sorry.” He States to Jyn wanting to apologize for every single scar on her body. She shakes her head.  
“Don't be, it's not your fault.” She smiled softly, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Cassian take the nightgown and places it over her head. He begins to hum the same tune he was earlier as he gently put her arms in the gown.  
“Thank you.” Jyn say leaning in, giving cassian a kiss on the cheek.

  
Cassian waits for her under the covers as Jyn finishes getting ready for bed. Cassian didn't have much to do as he wasn't in his own dorm and he pack last night for his mission in the morning.  
Jyn climbs in the bed beside him and curls and arm around his waist from behind. He was warm and she could tell that tonight was going to be a peaceful night. Cassian moves to his back and Jyn lays her head on his hot chest. She feels safe at the moment. And she remembers about his mission in the morning.  
“How long will you be gone?” Jyn mummers under her breath, hoping inside her heart it's an overnight mission. His hand runs up and down her bare arm as he lets out a sigh.  
“I'm not sure, it could be overnight to two weeks, depends on how smoothly it goes.” He says his voice coming from his chest. Jyn snuggles closer to him, not ever wanting to let him go.  
“I’ll miss you cassian.” She says softly as she dozes off to sleep.


End file.
